I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
