would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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