do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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