im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
