wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
