Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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