someone owes me an orgasm
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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