is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
