I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
