Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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