Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
