I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
