and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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