..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize