Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize