So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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