so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
