Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
