Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
