I seem to have left my pride at pride
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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