If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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