the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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