i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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