just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
