It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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