Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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