there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
