Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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