dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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