He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought