she kept yelling 'call me bella'
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.