The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.