# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
