We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
