i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was confusing and full of hummus
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it glows. i had to have it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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