come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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