My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
