I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
