My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
