just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
