well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
