Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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