yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
