bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
