I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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