Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize