I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize