it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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