So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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