Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i out mim tonsoeep
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