i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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