I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
