with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
