operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Redeem this text for a blowjob
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
