I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
