There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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