wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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