i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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