respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
