You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story