i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.