She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"