I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize