are you still at the devil's house?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
