i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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