dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
