O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
